The Red Stain

-Sajira Shrestha

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My hands and legs were trembling. My face was turning red. All the friendly faces seemed to be staring at me. I was scared to death. I was holding my tears and I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak anything. It was all because there was a red stain in my pant.

I recall the day when I had my first menstruation period. I was twelve years old and in 5th grade. My mother and sister had told me few things about menstruation. They had said it was normal for all girls and they all have gone through this but I hadn’t imagined it could be so hard for me.

It was a game period. Me and all my friends were playing in our school playground, when suddenly my best friend told me that there was a red stain in my pant. I didn’t know about it until I went to the toilet and checked it. The fear inside me had grown. I was worried about how to go to my classroom, what if my classmate especially boys will see it, what will I say to my teacher.. These questions were ringing around my head. I felt ashamed. I even cursed myself for being a girl. I felt so embarrassed and weak at that moment.

My friend went to the teacher and asked for help. My teacher called my mother and she came to the school. She asked me to change my pant and told me to go to the class and read the other periods. But as I was too embarrassed to go back to my class, I came back home.

At that time, I thought menstruation was a curse. I wondered why it would be to only girls, not boys. I felt that girls were called weaker than man due to this.

Now I am 18 years old and I know that menstrual cycle is a normal physiological process and women don’t need to be ashamed of it. It’s just a monthly series of changes a woman’s body goes through.  I want to tell my 12 year old self that you don’t need to be ashamed of that RED STAIN in your pant.

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