I could not speak!

Sajira Shrestha

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Kathmandu, the capital city of Nepal, a dream city of many people, crowded public areas, packed long traffic jams, modern houses, shops and what not. But still a beautiful place to live.
I am Anu Adhikari, a 19 year old, who recently completed +2 examination and came to Kathmandu, a wonderland with full of hopes and dreams. As I am new to this modern place, I did not know much about the culture, place and people of Kathmandu. As I grew up in a society where people are very frank, easy to talk and ask for help whenever in need. But here in Kathmandu, it’s difficult to get even a smile.

As days past, I tried to cope up and tried to fit into the society. But the thinking never changed and I used to think that people here, are same as my village people. One day, I had to go to Baneshwor in a consultancy, so I decided to take a bus from Kalanki chowk. The micro bus was already packed when I got into it. I did not get the seat but I had no problem with that because I got a place to stand properly. The small bus started getting packed even more . As we reached to Ravibhawan, a guy, seemed similar to my age came near and stood up next to me. He had a tablet in his hand which made him difficult to stand so I asked him to carry it and he stood up comfortably.

The bus was moving in its own pace but suddenly that young guy started coming closer to me. I thought it was because the bus was so packed. But he kept coming closer and closer, making me very uncomfortable. We were facing towards each other and there was hardly any space to move. He started pressing my body. His so called big penis started pressing my lower abdomen region and his broad chest pressed my breast. I was shocked because it happened all of a sudden and I was the victim.

I could not speak a word. I was in shock and in tears. Many thoughts were running inside my head but my mouth was shut. I could not figure out why did he do that to me. Finally, I got off the bus and looked at him. He had a smirk on his face. His smile kept striking my head, the whole day. Lots of questions were running in my head. Is it only me who is facing such problems ? Do other girls face it too? Why do girls face it? Is is because of our body? Do boys only want girls’ body? Are girls not safe in public places?

Eventually, I did not go to the consultancy and sat in a park and started to think why didn’t I speak. Why didn’t I raise my voice? Is it my fault, being a girl? Am I allowed to point at a guy’s mistakes? My eyes were full of tears because I was hopeless. Not because, I was afraid but I was confused regarding how to react towards such mal-practices and problems prevailing in the society.


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